You Are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

At a recent bible study, a newly saved believer asked how one would know if an answer to a prayer was really God’s word or just the “musings of her own brain”.  Or something like that.  I  LOVED the question because it was true and to the heart of her feelings, and, quite frankly, something that I have also wondered.  It led to a fabulous discussion regarding adventures in God’s talking.  Talking to us, that is.  Every one of the other participants was able to relate a time when they felt that God had answered a question or a longing in their heart.  The answer may not have been exactly what they were asking for, but it did fulfill their need and brought them closer to Christ. 

One of the ladies related the story of how she and her husband came about the home in which they now live.  They could not meet the price the seller was asking and she would not go down in her price any further.  They had resigned that the house they loved was not the one God had intended for them and had peace with not going above their offering price.  They knew their financial limitations and decided that God would guide them to the house, or the neighbors, that He had intended for them.  The very next morning after they decided not to raise their offer, the real estate agent called and told them that the seller decided to take their lower offer because she had an overwhelming feeling that the house was supposed to go to them.

Another lady talked of how she knew that God was in the hand of her divorce, although He hates divorce.  She and her estranged husband began having the same dreams about him serving in a church, some brick church that he had never seen.  He decided to try to reconcile with her and attend her church even though he had never been there, nor had he even lived in state for the past six months.  When they pulled into the parking lot of the church, he immediately stated that this was the church he had seen in his dreams.  They both met with the pastor separately after the service, but the estranged husband refused to admit that God had tried to join them back together.  He would not accept Christ as his savior.  The pastor believed that she was right in ending the marriage and she has had great peace with it ever since.  She met her current husband a week later at a bible study in that same church.

And my story:

I struggled with my feelings about my weight for a while.  I am not obese, but I have a real hard time finding clothing that flatters me as I have larger hips and bum than I do waist and shoulders (and bust also, but that is a whole other post).  I feel disappointed every time I try on clothing as most retail clothing is made for the model figure-no hips, and legs up to there.  I put on a pair of jeans that fit my hips and have visions of young boys trying to throw coins into the gap in the back.  I squat down only to see plenty of crack that no one wants to see (except maybe DadOfAllTrades, <wink>).  Every stinkin’ time I buy pants I must remove around 6 inches of length because designers don’t quite get that when one gets bigger side to side, one does not grow top to bottom also.  Seriously, go to Target and grab a pair of size 18 pants.  Hold them up and check out how long the inseam is.  One would have to be roughly six feet tall to not have to hem those babies.  It is quite dehumanizing.

Not that I suffer with low self esteem.  But trying on these clothes makes me feel that I am “not right” even though there is little I can do about it.  I have tried to lose weight, but the gap thing and the length thing still are there.  No matter how many Ho-ho’s I give up, my hips will always be there.  Regardless of my size, my legs will always be the length of coffee table legs and I will never have ankles, rather “cankles” as my aunt calls them.  It is just genetics: my grandma was the same way and she was a slight woman.

So here I am, worrying about my weight and how I look in clothes that are in fashion and I come to a 10-day discovery time. 

I sit down for my prayers and can’t decide what to read that day.  So I flip open the Bible and let God tell me what to read.  I somehow end up in Psalm 139:14 “…I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” and I feel a little tickle in my heart.  I guess He made me this way so I should be respectful of my body.  I begin to wonder if I am and I think that yes I am, kinda.  I eat well, except for the sugar fixation I have.  I am active, but not an exerciser.  I had two toddler boys at the time so being active is not really a choice.  But I still have the nagging that I do not look like a model and cannot find clothes to fit, so my body is not “right”.

Later that week I attend a MOPS meeting.  We are doing an activity that involves picking a verse out a hat, reading it aloud, and saying something about it.  I cannot remember exactly the exercise because it was a while ago, but that was the jist of how the exact same verse ended up in my hands.  Seriously.  I had a whole hat full of verses and THE VERY SAME ONE found it’s way into my hands.  I open the slip of folded paper and read aloud “Psalm 139:14 ‘…I am fearfully and wonderfully made…’”  Sheesh, someone is trying to tell me something.

The last incidence of the Psalm’s appearance is the one that brought me to my knees.  I am in some store with my boys.  I am sure I was distracted because I was in some store with my boys.  But I was still able to hear the conversation of the two ladies in the same aisle.  I kid you not when I say they were discussing Psalm 139:14.  Really, they were. 

I looked up to the heavens and yelled “OK.   I GET IT.  MY BUTT IS JUST FINE.”  Well, not really the yelling part, but that is what I wanted to do.  It was like getting a smack on the side of the head form a sarcastic God.  “So, is this enough for you to finally understand that your body is just perfect?????”

I cannot say that I totally am OK with my body since then.  But when I have doubts Psalm 139 goes through my mind and peace soon follows.

What was your message from God that brought you the most peace?  Just curious-I love to hear how He inspires us.