Pappa Camp

Last week my FIL called with a request.  I think he said “I have a huge favor to ask you so call me back when you have a few minutes.”  I thought he was going to ask me to visit my grandmother-in-law, who is not a happy elder.  But he had a much different request.

His BFF was having his grandkids visit from out of town and FIL wanted to have all the grandkids get together to play.  (It seems funny to use text-speak when talking about my parent’s generation, but my mom is the one who taught me some of the abbreviations.  Heh!)  The two grand-pappas thought the kids would get along swimmingly.  So, now that they would all be within a few minutes of each other, rather than a plane ride away, we should all get together.  I think, no big deal, absolutely, it is summer.  Then he says he wants everyone to come over here because we have so much for boys to do.  Creek, zip-line, tree house, slides, room for baseball, pool next door.

To tell the truth I am ecstatic.  I kinda want to be the house that every kid wants to go to.  The one where you feel comfortable because the mom is kind and understands what it is like to be a kid.  Where the mom always has food and kool-aid ready at a moment’s notice.  Where a kid can be a kid (to use Disney’s phrase).  So this is the request I have been waiting for since I gave birth.

He is cracking me up, trying to be apologetic and questioning and polite at the same time.  He wants to have everyone stay outside with outside activities and do outside things.  They may need a bathroom on occasion, but he only needs the outside.  And did he mention that he wants the kids to play outside? Since he has a tendency to go on-and-on I cut him off and say it is no problem.  That would be great. 

So the day arrives and Pappa, his BFF, and his BFF’s brood arrive.  It is Pappa Camp time!!  There is a schedule to stick to and prizes to work for. 

He has generated a list of 20 things for a scavenger hunt.  I cannot believe how astute he is!   There are things on this list I forgot about owning.  Things like a boomerang, horseshoe, and a light house (well, maybe I didn’t forget about the numerous lighthouses in this house, but go with me here). Things they must find by the creek, like crayfish, red and black rocks, and creek sand.  Of course, the boomerang is MIA, so I must search the house for it.  Other than that, I just watch and enjoy.

Pappa has brought a lunch.  “You don’t have to lift a finger!”  He says.  Then it starts to rain.  He is devastated that they have to “impose” to eat inside.  I finally say “Enough already!  I like that you are doing this so knock off the apologies.”  And I love that lunch was fried chicken (Made by my MIL), rolls and butter, and pickles.  Such a guy lunch.  I offer watermelon just so it won't go bad.  At least that is my excuse.

They eat, finish the scavenger hunt, get wet and muddy in the creek, play baseball, and swim in the neighbor’s pool, all to the set schedule of Pappa.  They even win awards for finding ALL the 20 things on the scavenger hunt list.  Well, almost all of them.  They could not find a grasshopper.  Surprisingly enough, we don’t have a lot of those around here.  I told him that I rarely see them.  Soooo.. they called the committee to find out if one can substitute the toad and caterpillar they found while searching for the grasshopper.  The committee agreed and cheers rang out. 

It was fabulous to see my FIL so involved with the boys.  He wants to be a part of their lives and knows them pretty well.  I did not comprehend that he was taking in all our stories about them that we related over the phone.  He does remember some of the silly things my kids have done over the years.  I am so tickled that my boys have so many people that want to be a positive part of their lives.

We are truly blessed!

It is H.O.T.

The summer doldrums have begun in our neck of the woods.  Well, if one actually looks at a weather map of the U.S. of A. one would see that half the country is in the heat.   We have had days over 90 degrees for a week now and I am starting to melt.

Melt as in get soaking wet the moment I step out the door.  I have gone through two or more sets of clothes a day. 

Melt as in I am drinking way too much water and not peeing enough.   Well, maybe I am not drinking enough water then, but it sure seems like it.

Melt as in my brain is no longer functioning on all circuits.  I forgot to eat lunch today.  For those of you that don’t know me that well, I never miss a meal.  I mean never, at no time, ever ever.   When I am eating a meal I am thinking about what I am going to eat at the next meal.  So when I looked in the fridge at dinner making time and saw my packed lunch, I thought “Now that is why I can’t think right.”  Really, I totally forgot.  I am still reeling at this.

I am not complaining, mind you.  There was a time in my life that I would have not left the a/c once the temps rose above 80.  I used to leave work, start the car standing outside of it, turn on the a/c and wait until the car was more comfortable.  I hated to sweat.

Now that I have little ones that want to be outside, and I want them to be outside, I have no choice but to embrace the heat.  I have begun to almost want it.  And, quite frankly, I am liking the rockin’ tan that I end up with at the end of a summer well lived.

There.  Now I never thought I would say it.  But, here goes:  I love summer!

Am I a bad mom if I laugh?

This was written a couple of years ago in an April.  It was published in the local paper.  This is a true story, the names have not been changed.  <smile>

Sunday was here.  The first one in the spring that was warm enough to play outside.  Papa wanted to go fishing at a local park and the boys couldn’t wait.  DadOfAllTrades purchased his fishing license and Papa got the bamboo rods.  “Must learn on these first before you cast!!”  Says Papa.  I am grateful for this slice of wisdom because I do not want to imagine the result of a three year old trying to throw a fishing rod around with a barbed hook on the end.  At least I have a well-stocked first aid kit in the trunk.

We gather worms from LegoMaster's and Buzz’s worm farm (a whole other essay) and off to the lake we trek.  It is a balmy 50 degrees, but it feels really great to be out in the sun again after so many months of snow.  The boys are so excited that they can hardly wait to unwrap their poles and throw in a line.  Papa casually remarks that we should have brought the boys life jackets and DadOfAllTrades and I giggle.  We try a deck that is about six feet above the water and catch nothing.  Here is where I say that fishing can be boring, but can you imagine what it feels like being 5 and 3?  I however have a new appreciation for watching my boys with their father and grandfather.  Great mentoring moments and I am reminded again how much like his dad LegoMaster can be.  Big sappy smile on my face.  Then Buzz drops the rod in the water and we have to figure out how to get it.  No one brought hip waders.  “It happens.  We’ll get it.”  I say to Buzz, who is not so sure.  DadOfAllTrades saves the day by fishing (pun intended) it out and off we go. 

We decide to move to the other side of the pond when other park walkers tell us that the last fisherman said he too had no bites.  We trek over to the other side of the pond being careful not to step in the dog poo-why don’t people pick up after their animals?  Yuck.  This deck is about a foot and a half above the water with an extra board around the sides, no railings.  As a mom, I am feeling some worry, but what are the odds?  We are successful!!  DadOfAllTrades reels in a four incher and the boys gawk at the greatness of it.  Papa quickly fills the bucket with pond water, unhooks the fish and lets it recover from its shock while in the bucket.  LegoMaster and Buzz hover over the sides like proud parents looking in a bassinette.  The fish is fascinating for a couple of minutes, then back to putting the lines back in the water. 

A minivan slowly drives by and stops.  Uh-oh.  Cre8tiveMamma does not have a fishing license, but Papa quickly takes the pole out of my hands and assists Buzz.  After a couple tense seconds, we find out that it is the editor of the local paper out getting some spring photos and is wondering if he can take ours.  Absolutely!  I have not yet had all of my 15 minutes of fame.  Shoot away.  Photos snapped and we return once again to the watching of the bobbers.  Cre8tiveMamma, and Buzz if you count that it was his rod, catch another fish that swallows the worm and hook too far.  He does not make it, we think, because we put him back in the water so to not have to do some explaining about life and death.  We can always cover that topic later.   In total an hour has passed and even patient LegoMaster is getting restless.  We decide on fishing until the hooked worms are gone then heading home. 

Buzz thinks this is great because he can then play with the worms that have managed to escape being fish bait today.  He pulls one out and stretches it, asks it “How are you today?”, and in general tortures it like any three year old would do.  He asks if he can throw it in and Cre8iveMamma says OK.  After being the forever-teacher and asking for the prediction of sink-vs-float, the worm drops.  Wow, it sinks.  A whole 4 inches or so to the murk at the bottom of the water.  The water is just clear enough for us to make out the whitish form of the worm declaring its freedom.  Buzz goes to grab another worm while Cre8tiveMamma watches to see if a fish will eat it before her very eyes.

SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cre8iveMamma witnesses Buzz do a half gainer into the water, landing first on his back and then flopping his legs over summersault style.  I am sure the others saw it in slow motion as I did, but as I was already staring at the water, it was in my full view.  Lightningfast, I reach off the deck to rescue my son, grabbing Buzz by the back of his soggy coat.   I am of course praying that Buzz  does not drown, but a second, equally loud prayer is one that involves me not getting wet also.  Luckily, I do not fall in, but have the where-with-all to yell out “GRAB MY LEGS!!”  Someone does so-either Papa or DadOfAllTrades, I am not sure.  We drag Buzz out.  He is crying “I’m Cold!” so we strip him down to his skivvies while Papa removes his own hoodie so we can wrap that around Buzz.  He is covered with dirty pond water and the flakes of the black yuck of the bottom of an inland lake.  Because of the smell I am assuming that this “dirt” is decaying leaves, rotting fish and goose poo.  Papa is freaked and immediately begins taking apart the rods and gathering tack.  DadOfAllTrades and I try to calm Buzz down, and LegoMaster is just staring.  Buzzis the most upset about his boots.  “They’re wet!”  He chuffs out between sobs.

 Eventually we get Buzz in the car, naked with a towel wrapped around tender parts.  He asks for his sunglasses.  I assume that is so the paparazzi cannot get a look at his horrified face.

On the way home, I have to resist every urge to begin guffawing.  Now that everyone is safe and dry, so-to-speak, the adrenaline has worn off and I am beginning to see the situation as an outsider.  I am beginning to remember the immediate thoughts.  When Buzz began to thrash around (in 4 inches of water) a great black cloud rose to the surface.  It was probably some really organically rich pond sediments, but I thought “now how did an octopus get here?”  Really, I did.  LegoMaster is beginning to question what happened now and I cannot even turn my head or look at DadOfAllTrades for fear of bursting out in peals of laughter.  Thank goodness DadOfAllTrades had the head in the family and is handing everything well, but I can still see the side of his face and I know that he is also smiling.

After Buzz has been scrubbed, at dinner LegoMaster says something about Buzz falling in the water again.  Buzz seems to be taking it well so DadOfAllTrades takes this as a teaching moment and says to LegoMaster “Now you now what was in the water, down there.”

 And Sam, with a straight face, replies “Yeah, my brother.”

20 Questions: Part 11-20

Here are the last 10 questions in my 20 Questions series.  Enjoy-or wonder who the heck I think I am.

11. If you  could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?  Since I love food, the mere thought of having to limit it to one selection is like a form of torture.  But since you asked and I must pick, I would pick cheesecake.  I love desserts; the best ones are those with a huge amount of fat.  Cheesecake fits that bill nicely.  But I have to say I will miss some eggplant parm.

12. What last made you laugh?  Buzz and I were sitting together in the lobby of the dojo.  He started trying to kiss my face, then it  morphed into him trying to bite my cheek gently.   It tickled like the devil and I couldn't help but belly laugh.  He got this cheesy grin on his face and did it again.  I laughed again.  I think I laughed at the expression of pure joy on his face as much as the tickling he was doing.

13.  If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?  Physically, my thin hair.  I don't think I would like really thick and wavy locks, just something that held a curl once in a while.  Mentally, my ability to ruminate.  I need to practice meditation more often to calm my brain.

14.Scale of 1-5, how organized are you?   I would say a 3.  I cannot take the time to put things away where they belong asap, but I can find a piece of info within a short time when asked.  There are many piles of stuff in my house and I have had to call the credit card company once, but most of the time I "know where I can find it if you give me a day."

15. Are there any TV shows you watch often?  I am crazy for Survivor.  See this post where I tried to identify why as it really has not changed in 10 or so seasons.  I also like crime dramas like Criminal Minds.  The animation shows like Family Guy are a crack up.  And I am getting in to Phineas and Ferb lately-creative writing at it's best.

16. Ever wear pajamas anywhere except bed?  I am a freak about "getting ready for the day".  I would be so totally self conscious if I didn't get a  morning shower that the thought of leaving the house in my pj's gives me the hives.  I have nightmares about the house burning down and me having to run outside in front of my neighbors in my pj's.  This emotion is tough to swallow when camping, by the way.

17. What is your favorite holiday?  I used to be a huge Christmas fan, then I got married and had children and realized that it is the mom of the family that makes Christmas happen.  It is not that I don't like it anymore, there is just so much pressure involved.  And since I can't remember a darn thing unless it is listed on paper, I usually forget a gift for someone important, like my mother-in-law, and the stress is just too much to take. So I am going to choose Halloween.  Strange for a Christian, but I love to make costumes.

18.  What is your favorite song?  Another tough-ee.  When I was in high school I forked over $30 or so for a concert ticket to see BonJovi.  He is hot-hot-hot and I needed to see him sing.  The two friends I went with wanted to troll for pimply teenage boys and I was not into that.  I wanted to stare at Jon and his big hair.  So I sat in my seat (with two empty seats on either side of me) and watched the concert.  At one point the lights went down and Jon sang "Drift Away" nearly acapella.  I was captivated.  I still think back to that moment every time I hear that song.  Good stuff.

19.  Favorite movie?  I don't have one.  I rarely can stay awake long enough to see a plot thicken.  But I really liked all the Harry Potter films.  And I do remember liking "A Time To Kill" with Matthew McConaughey.

20.  No quiz would be complete with out this iconic question, so here goes:  What would you do with a million dollars?  Oh geez...  Pay off the house so DadOfAllTrades has less pressure on him.  Have my bedroom painted.  Take a trip to see the great U. S. of A.  Start a fund for those good people that are trying their damndest to make ends meet, but can't.  But one thing is for sure, I would do it anonymously.  People are strange, and I don't want them asking me for a handout.  I am stingy.

Hope you enjoyed all 20 of them.

When the going gets tough

Seven and an half years ago... NO wait, seven and a half years ago plus ten months, I signed on to be a mom.  I had dreams.  I saw myself strolling around with a well behaved child. Going to playgrounds and sliding down slides.  Hosting sleepovers with all-night talk fests.   Being the house that all the kids wanted to go to because we always had Popsicles or ice cream.  Having the kind of relationship with my kids that allowed us to communicate openly and honestly, then truly understand and respect each other.

Well, not really.  DadOfAllTrades and I wanted to reproduce.  We both wanted children, we got married after 30, and...well... time was running out on my reproductive years.

It is not that we didn't put a huge amount of thought into it.  We were just old enough to know that is what we wanted and we were going to do it, for good or for bad.

This  may sound like I am not happy with the decision to have children.   Quite the contrary.  I am LOVING having kids.  It has been, and will be, the most energy I have ever spent on one project.  It has changed my outlook on the world.  It has made me emotionally stronger, less selfish (I think), and more likely to walk around with stains on my clothes.

We have been having a hard time at it lately.  The boys are in full blown summer mode.  That is, not wanting to do anything except complain about the toys they don't have and fighting over the toys they do have.  Usually the fights are over something they have not seen or even thought of in over six months.  They are verbally mean to each other, doing a huge amount of whining, and LegoMaster has been talking to me like I am his slave.

"Mom, the TV is too loud!"  Yeah, well what would you like me to do, master?  Really, I don't say that because it would perpetuate the verbal non-politeness and they have yet to be old enough to understand sarcasm. What I do say is: "Then get off the couch and turn it down."  You lazy stinker.

There have been a couple of days that, once I get my boys to bed, I hole myself up in the bathroom and take an hour long shower.  Just so I do not have to think for a little bit.  The day has been so emotionally draining that I cannot even converse with DadOfAllTrades until I have had my alone time.

No one ever told me about these times of motherhood.  I do not think I entered into it  believing it would be all tea and cupcakes.  I was too old for that nonsense.    However, I never realized the "race" to be a good mom was not a mile long leisurely paced jog.  It is a marathon of Iron Man proportions.  One that goes on for a lifetime.  It is hard and time consuming and emotionally draining and sometimes humiliating.  It takes a person of strength to raise a child the "right" way.

There are times when all one can do is fall to their knees and ask the Lord for help.  Be it strength to get through the day, or patience, or kind lips, or whatever one feels is the right thing at the time.  I have fallen to the advice I should follow: Philippians 4:6.  "...in everything...present your requests to God..."   I have found that just by asking, my Savior provides me with all I need.  For example, in these last trying days I have been praying A LOT for help with the boys (so I don't strangle them).  And, low an' behold, I was messaged this blog entry.  Couldn't of happened at a better, more appropriate time.

I have been reminded that I am under a higher power while raising my kids.  My prayers have been answered and I can make it through today.  My earth body and mind may need some time alone at the end of today, but I now know why I have been called to be a parent.

And, for good or for bad, I know that I will make it through with His help.

It's three AM here

I officially have a case of insomnia tonight.

I woke at 1:30.

It is now 3:30 and I am still awake.

Tomorrow is going to be tough.

I sometimes wonder what it is that wakes me up enough to not fall back asleep.  I don't think I had a bad dream.  I am not ruminating about anything in particular.  The weather has been darn hot so I am sufficiently tired upon arrival to bed.  I have attended my fair share of karate classes so I have been keeping up with the physical activity.

But here I sit.

I folded clothes.  I have done two loads of laundry (so I now have more clothes to fold).  I browsed on the net for a while.  I talked to my brother via FB.  Apparently he has the same problem tonight.  And, FYI, he is a doc so I hope he has no delicate procedures tomorrow.  I have pinned a few fun things and read about someone's Alaska honeymoon.  (No, I do not know them other than what I read on their blog.  But they have a sense of humor and I cannot resist reading about them.)  I have wondered why we don't do more for our anniversary and also wondered why neither of us even felt bad about not even getting a special dessert or anything for it. (Next year is the big "T-E-N" so we better get our thinking caps on.  We gotta do better then a phone call next year.)  And, now I am writing a post.

So, overall a busy couple of hours.  Maybe I will try sleep again.

Selena bread and a bender

This weekend I had an impromptu party at my house with DadOfAllTrades siblings and some of their friends.  It was hot as blazes in the backyard and they wanted to make this Hungarian tradition of selena (spelled right?  I don't know.) bread.  This is made by topping a rye bread slice with chopped peppers, onions and tomatoes.  Then one melts selena fat over an open fire and drips it on the bread. Then one salts and peppers the heck out of it and eats the slice in two bites.

Yup, it is gross.  But since I am part of the family, I must participate on occasion.  I was able to refuse when I was pregnant-both times-because of heartburn that was brutalized by peppers.

But, an otherwise related topic...  Well, maybe related in that it happened in the same night...

Because of the heat, there were many adult beverages around.  My BIL started making this fruity martini and started just refilling my glass without being asked.  And I forgot to get up from talking to drink extra water.

I am sure you see where this is going.

I have not experienced the spins like that since college.  And now I remember why I stopped drinking to excess a long time ago.  Whoosh, the morning was hard.  New vow-do not drink a drink unless I have specifically requested it.  Not because I think they were spiked, but because then I can keep better track of how many I had.  And, do not drink a martini out of a plastic cup.  I think I had doubles, but who knows?

Never again for this old body.