Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath

I just received word that DadOfAllTrades was chosen to go help restore power to those without because of hurricane Irene.  "Pack for two weeks" they told him.

Part of me wants to scream....You can't dessert me!!  We have two little ones who get squirrly when Daddy is gone so long!  You have to attend Parent Orientation at the boy's school with me because I cannot be in two places at once.

Part of me wants to hug him for being a great provider and sacrificing his family time to put food on the table and a roof over our head.

Part of me wants to grab a shot and a beer.

Part of me is making a list in my head of things he has to do before I will officially let him go.  Like tell me the password for the on-line bill pay.  (He told me once, and I kinda listened.  Mostly because it would be one more thing I had to handle rather than him handling it, so I blew it off.  Now I wished I was a good wife in that moment.)  Like carry the mattresses upstairs for the out of town guests we are supposed to have next weekend.   Like cut the grass.

Part of me wants to drop to my knees and pray for ...I don't know.  Just pray.

But I think I will smile and give him a big hug before he leaves.  I am grateful he has a great job that he really does like and that pays well enough that I can be a stay-at-home mom.  And I am grateful I have him.