Forgiveness

I never like to hear that trouble has landed in the lap of a friend.  Unfortunately, a dear friend has been having some serious family issues.  The topic of forgiveness has come up time and time again.  Needless to say, the issue of forgiveness has been discussed a lot and has been on my mind.  How should one forgive?  Is it necessary to forgive all?  Can someone not forgive and still be at peace?  Is it possible as a human to really, truly forgive as Jesus can?

There are many phrases that contain this word-but few of those phrases some up it’s magnitude.

“Forgive and forget”.  Yeah, maybe if someone stole your pencil.  But not for most infarctions we face as humans.  It seems so easy to do something that upsets another person.  I am not talking about accidentally cutting off another with your shopping cart.  I am talking about lending a book out that belongs to someone else and you are well aware of their feelings toward their literature. (Sorry, SIL)  I am talking about telling a secret that you were sworn to keep to yourself.  (Sorry, anonymous)  These things just slide off our tongues or hands quite quickly.  So quickly, almost that we don’t even realize it before it is too late and we cannot take it back.  But if we forget what we have done, or how others have wronged us, how can we grow as a person?  How can we learn from our experiences and work toward being a better person?

“Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. “  (Isaac Freidmann)   How is letting someone off the hook revenge?  If they have cut us to the core, aren’t we being naive in letting them inside our feelings again?  Maybe what the author of this quote means is that telling someone that we forgive is an acknowledgement of the hurt.  Kinda like a “I KNOW you did this.  God KNOWS you did this.  Now live with your mistake.  OH, and don’t let it eat you alive inside.”  Seems kinda vindictive.

“...and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive each one who is in debt to us.”  Luke 11:3-4  OK, so we have all heard this one.  We are told that God will forgive our sins if we ask him.  While this sounds simple, it is really hard for me.  How can I confess a sin in a prayer and know that I have been forgiven?  Must it be spoken out loud?  Here is where faith comes in.  He says he is going to forgive us, and we must believe.  Most of the time I do.  But what about those times I did something for which I am truly embarrassed or regretful?  Something that I know was wrong and that I did anyway?  It is the big ones, the huge hurts, that we must truly have our faith in our hands. So that it is almost something palpable, like play-doh.  I must hold my faith and squish it around as I am feeling guilty until he gives me the sign.  What that is yet I don’t know.  But I do know that I have seen some of those signs and feel forgiven.

And this is the one that I have been stewing over for the past couple of days:  “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  Luke 23:34.   Jesus asked for forgiveness for the people who were persecuting him.  The people who were killing him for his beliefs.  A friend said that maybe that is the key.  He asks God to forgive them, but he did not forgive them himself.  Jesus did not say “I forgive you for killing me” to the faces of those who were doing the deed.  He told his Father.  If the wrong against us is too large, maybe we are to forgive the person through our Lord.  Maybe we are not to confront the person, or people, but pray for their souls.  Even if they beg for forgiveness, maybe we are to follow his example and put it out to the Lord.   This may be how he teaches us to truly forgive a big-deal-sin against us.  He does not force us to go face to face with the person who cut us deep.  He would never want us to experience more harm.  But he does want us to experience the inner peace we could have by forgiving the wrong to him and knowing that He will take care of it.


For me, I am going to choose to offer it up to Him.  I am believing that He will let me know if I am to go face to face, or just show it to him.  And if I have to do it “seventy times seven”, then that is how many times it will be prayed.